Obviously – to those in the know – my title today is stolen from La La Land (AKA the greatest film of all time, ever, since making films began, and if you disagree you’ll have to do so quietly, or I’ll talk at you with a long list of reasons that you’re WRONG)
The song that is strongly expected to win all the Oscars and accolades is ‘City of stars’ – but it’s not The Song. The Song is Emma Stone’s audition song. The Song is the one which talks about how important it is that the world has dreamers, the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem, with hearts that ache and the mess we make.
That ‘we’ in the song makes it burn even more closely to the little girl who lives inside me.
There are two other moments in the film that make it feel all a little bit too real, and made me feel my feelings all visibly on the outside, where people might see. One is when Seb (The Gosling) says dreamers need to grow up because it’s frightening wanting anything good, and then later Mia (Wonderful Emma) says chasing your dreams just hurts too much, over and over.
Obviously I’m paraphrasing – I’m not going to quote the lines word for word – because the important thing is the message.
We all have dreams. There are things we all want from life. And it’s hard to get to them, to achieve them, to reach our goals – but what if – like the flawed moments in these characters as we watch their story unfold – the only thing between us and our dreams is our fear of never reaching them and the hurt that goes along with the trying?
I have dreams. I have the dreams I’ve tried and failed, and I have even more of the dreams I didn’t even jump for because I was so afraid I’d miss and fall.
When I was younger I had one of those dreams (an actual in the night, sleeping one) that I think everyone has at some point – the one where you think you can fly, and jump off a cliff and magically soar above the world like a bird. Only I didn’t fly, I just jumped and plummeted, and when the moment came that I was supposed to soar, I just…fell. And when I think about shooting for my dreams, I wonder if that was prophetic, and because there’s this tiny voice saying “but what if I fail?” I can’t hear the other voices from all the people who said “but what if you don’t?” and I back away from the edge of the cliff, saying “I’ll do it, I promise, just…not today. Not right now.”
I would love to end this with a proclamation that I’ve changed, that I’ll be flying, that I’ll aim for the stars and shoot for my goals and pick some dreams to really focus on…but I won’t say that. Because then I’ll have to come back and say “I promise. No, really, I will…but maybe tomorrow…”
Because, like they said, it’s scary, and it might hurt.